Happy Mother’s Day

Today is the day on which we honor our mothers for the love and sacrifice that they have shown through the years.  It is a special and exclusive day, since motherhood is not bestowed upon all women.  I know that some hearts ache on this holiday, some with as yet unfulfilled dreams, and others with regrets.  However, let us not neglect to honor those to whom honor is due, just because it can be deemed exclusive. 

Motherhood is not easy, and from my perspective, it seems to get more difficult the older the child becomes.  I am so thankful for my own mother, who is such an influence on my life.   I am thrilled to have the kind of relationship with her that gets better each year.  If I have a problem or difficulty, she prays with me – often.  I really appreciate that.  She has been an example of faithfulness over the years, and while not perfect, I have learned much from her.  She taught me to cook, clean, and sew, for which I am eternally grateful.  I got her hooked on scrapbooking, so we enjoy crafting together.  We talk on the phone several times a week.  In short, we have become more than mother and daughter  - we have become friends as well.  Her love and support has helped me through many a trial.  I thank God for my mom.  I love you, Mom! :)

I am also thankful for my mother-in-law.  She helped to shape the character of the man that I married.  She has been a great friend, and a wonderful addition to my life.  Of all the mother-in-laws in the world, she must be the best!  I love you, Mom Crow!  :)

And of course, I love the ones who call me Mama.  Each one of my children is special to me, and I enjoy seeing them grow and develop.  I tremble at the thought of the responsibility I have been given, especially when I see my own faults and inadequacies.  However, God knew each imperfection when He gave those precious children to me, and not only can I teach them, I can learn from them as well.  I love you, munchkins!  :)

Happy Mother’s Day!

Remembering Nathan–Ten Years

I can hardly believe it has been ten years.  Some days  it seems an eternity ago, and others, it seems as if it was only yesterday.  It was ten years ago that a very difficult pregnancy ended several weeks early, and my second child came into the world.

It was ten years ago, as I lay on the operating table after an emergency C-section, violently shaking with the aftereffects of the anesthesia, that I wondered where my baby was.  I groggily asked the anesthesiologist if it was a boy or a girl, but he wasn’t sure.  I thought that was odd, but in that post-op state of mind, I figured that maybe he just didn’t know.  After a few more minutes, I asked again.  This time, he answered slowly, reluctantly, “It’s a boy, but he is having a hard time breathing.”

It was ten years ago that I began praying for my son, begging God to help him breathe, pleading for the life of my son.

It was ten years ago that God answered my prayer, not with the answer I so desperately wanted to hear, but with a sorrowful, “No, Sarah.  My grace is sufficient for thee.”  As I lay on the table, I knew. My son was not going to live.

It was ten years ago that my husband and I heard the news from the doctor, “Your son has responded to the latest round of treatment, but I’m afraid it is too little, too late.  It will only give you enough time to say goodbye.”

It was ten years ago that I held my dying baby in my arms, touching his tiny face, watching him struggle, and still praying, hoping that God would do a miracle.

It was ten years ago that for the first time, I realized the magnitude of God’s love for me.  I would not have traded my son’s life for any price, if I had had the choice, but God sent His Son, His only beloved Son, to die for me, to taste death in my place, to pay the price for my sin, and not for mine only, but for the sins of the whole world.

It was ten years ago that my husband and I committed the tiny life that God had given us so briefly back to the Giver.  Nathan, our gift, a precious few moments of life committed to our care, left our earthly arms to rest in the eternal arms of Jesus.

It was ten years ago that I entered the valley of the shadow of death.  My world came to a total standstill.  It was the darkest, bleakest time of my life.  The sleepless nights and tearful days became the new “normal.”  The huge, painful lump in my throat became bigger, and finally settled in my chest, making conversation difficult, and laughter impossible.

It was ten years ago that I claimed by faith, God’s promise, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”  Faith was the only way I could claim that promise, because I could not envision or even imagine a morning of joy. 

It was ten years ago that I decided I would not give up on God because He had allowed this tragedy in my life.  I read my Bible, prayed, attended church, all the while secretly wanting to slap the next person that quoted Romans 8:28 to me.  Oh, I knew that God did work out all things for my good, but I really didn’t want a verse flippantly quoted to me by someone whose life had never been shattered into pieces.  It sounds scandalous for me to say such a thing, but it is the absolute and candid truth.

It was ten years ago that I began to know and experience, in a whole new way, God’s sustaining grace.  The strength that helped me to get out of bed each day, to care for my young son, Josiah.  The grace to endure thoughtless comments, when all I wanted to do was lash out in hurt.  The grace to see other mothers hold their babies when mine was gone.  The grace to reach out to others when my own grief was so great.

It was ten years ago that God began to give me a deeper compassion for people who are hurting.  Even now, when I hear of the death of a child, a miscarriage, or stillbirth, my heart breaks for those who have lost that precious child, because I know the terrible, overwhelming grief and loss.  I can truly sympathize because I have been there. 

Yes, it was ten years ago that Nathan came into my life.  My life is forever changed because of the hour that I had with him.  The sorrow is still there, but it no longer casts a shadow over everything.  I still cry when I think about my son.  I still miss him and mourn his loss.  I still feel guilty when I say I have four children, rather than five, simply because I cannot talk about it without crying.  However, I know I will see him again some day.  I will be able to share with him the love that I hold in my heart, and in that day, I will, for the first time, truly understand all that God was doing in my life. 

These are a few of the lessons I have learned in the last ten years:

1.  God’s grace is always sufficient.

2.  Romans 8:28 is still true, even when it doesn’t feel true.

3.  Joy  will come in the morning.  The night of weeping may be long, but eventually, the dawn will come.

4.  God loves me.  Enough to send His Son to die for me. 

5.  People really do care, but sometimes they don’t know how to let you know.

6.  Life is uncertain.  Treasure every moment.

7.  God’s plan for your life is good, acceptable, and perfect, even though you may not understand it.

8.  Faith will sustain you through any trial.

Spring Offerings

I love the advent of spring with all of its beautiful flowers and gradually warmer weather.  After the drab and barren winter landscapes, the buds, and bright blooms bring fresh life and hope. 

The Bradford Pear trees are glorious to look at, but dreadful to smell.  The kids have decided that they smell like  old fish.  Ewwww!   I am rather inclined to agree!

You can tell Abigail didn’t really care for the fragrance of the Bradford pear blossoms!  It cracks me up to see her picking flowers and holding stuffed animals while toting her sling-shot around in her hammer-holster!  She can be quite dangerous!  :)

Daniel, not to be outdone by his sister, wanted to pick some flowers for Mama, too.  The problem is, he isn’t quite tall enough!  He first tried to climb  the tree.  That didn’t last long.  Then he tried jumping and reaching for the lower branches, all to no avail.  I had pity on him and pulled a branch down to where he could reach it, but the stems were too tough for him to break, so he moved on to greener pastures.  Dandelions…

His little self-satisfied smirk makes me laugh!  He was quite pleased.  Looking closely at the flowers that were given to me, I was amazed at the ethereal beauty of these common blooms.  What a lovely gift from God!  Purity and simplicity all around us, available for our enjoyment!

Take time to smell the dandelions!  I’d hold off on sniffing the Bradford Pears, though!  :)

Date Night

The other night, I went out with a young man.  No, not my husband.  Before the rumor mills begin churning out all kinds of supposed scandal, let me enlighten you.  This particular young man is my oldest son, Josiah.  He is eleven and one of the sweetest kids I know.  He has that pre-teen sense of humor that makes telling corny jokes a real pleasure, because he actually get them, and occasionally has a decent comeback!  :)

A long while ago, I took him out on a “date.”  He was instructed by his father to open my door and make sure he treated me like a lady.  He took his job very seriously, and did everything as he was told.  We had a nice time, but it bothered him that I paid for the outing.  He seemed to think that he had somehow shirked his gentlemanly responsibility by allowing me to pay.  (Never mind that he had no money and no job – I would never seriously consider a man like that, but since he is my son, it changes things a bit.) 

Apparently, this lack of responsibility has been chafing him all this time.  A few weeks ago, he began talking of taking me out again, with one difference – he  was going to pay for it all.  The problem was, I could never find a time that just the two of us could escape.  So, for at least three weeks, he mentioned it daily.  Never less than once a day, and usually three or four.  I began to feel a kinship with the unjust judge and the importunate widow.  I had to find a time for this date, just to maintain my own sanity.  Thankfully, an opportunity became available, and we hopped in the truck and headed to Wendy’s. 

I think it was the culmination of all his dreams – fries and a Frosty.  He ordered, and I found a table while he paid and waited for our food.  He carried it carefully to the table and thanked the Lord for the food.  I’ll give you three guesses as to who got the lion’s share of this meal… and the first two don’t count! LOL

Of course, we had to take our picture – easier said than done.  Here’s my cute little man.

He was all seriousness when we sat down, and began talking as we ate.  He said it was a much better date since he was able to pay this time.  I secretly agreed.  I thanked him for taking me out on a date, and his matter-of-fact response cracked me up.  “Thank you, Mama, for driving.  I might not have done so well.”  Might?  LOL!!!

I am very thankful for this little guy.  He is a blessing in so many ways.  I know the Lord has something special planned for his life, and I am so grateful that I get to be a part of that plan.  I love you, Josiah!

It’s a Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s…

SUPER-SPUD!

When I came out to the kitchen last week, waiting on the table was a unique offering from Josiah.  An intricately drawn card proclaiming “Happy Birthday Mama!” written in filled letters -  cursive letters!   I was amazed at the time he had put into this card.  Sitting next to the card was the ultimate multitasker…  This was supposed to reflect my duties as mother, I guess.  That, or my child thinks I am some kind of potato-shaped monster.  Come to think of it, maybe a little of both!

Here is a breakdown of what I assumed each of these meant:

Obviously, in his opinion, one of my more important jobs is fixing meals, since two of the arms are holding food. 

The jester must mean my ever-present good humor and love for a good joke – as long as it isn’t too early in the morning… like the mouse in the oven trick.

The arm with the bracelet must signify my impeccable taste in fashion (har har)

Of course, I never leave home without my purse, since it contains so much valuable stuff!

The “thumbs up” hand either means that I like to hitch-hike, or that I give encouragement where needed.

I’m not really sure what I am supposed to infer from the Frog Prince, so we’ll just leave that one alone.

There are several extra hands that I guess do all the other things that need to be done – who couldn’t use an extra hand every now and then?

While the fact that I have no visible features is somewhat disturbing, I was pleased to note that he had me shod in a pair of sparkly pink heels.  Even my son knows how much I love pretty footwear!  All in all, it was a rather interesting perspective, and I enjoyed the thought that went into it. 

Well, I, Super-Spud, am signing off to get back to my multi-tasking…

If you had a super power, what would it be?

Heritage Handiwork

Many years ago (at least 25), my mother began working with my great-grandmother (Little Gramy) on a quilt for me.  They chose the pattern, a Sunbonnet Sue variety, and then began working.   Little Gramy made the blocks, since she was famous for her beautiful quilt tops.  The fabrics were also special.  Some of them were chosen from scraps of previous projects – my mom’s maternity dresses, mother-and-daughter outfits, or shirts that had been made for my dad when he was a child.

My mom did the embroidery on each bonnet, stitching flowers and French knots in lovely detail.  The quilt top was done, but for years it languished in a chest, unfinished.  Several years ago, my mom came across it again and passed it on to me.  I didn’t really know what to do with it, since I have never quilted anything.  I wanted to finish it, but really didn’t have the time or the equipment for a project that size. 

Enter my mother-in-law.  She has made dozens of lovely quilts over the years, and I approached her about helping me finish this special quilt.  She gladly took on the project, and when we moved into our new house, she sent the finished quilt to me as a house-warming gift!  What a lovely surprise!

Isn’t it beautiful?!  I am so thankful for this piece of my heritage, wrought with care and love, preserved over many years.  Each time I look at it, I am reminded of the women who gave of their time to make this special treasure for me.

Here are a few of the individual blocks, so you can see the detail a bit better.

Now it graces my bedroom wall in a place of prominence, and every morning when I wake up, it is one of the first things I see.   One day, I hope to pass it on to my daughters and I hope that they get as much enjoyment out of it as I do!

Do you have a special family possession?

Nesting

I was walking through the RV park the other morning when I saw this little bird sitting on her nest.  The nest was nestled between a gap in the fencing, just the right size for her little straw incubator.   She watched me walk past with a wary eye, and when I returned with my camera, she flew a short distance away, perching rather anxiously on the top of the fence.  It was no wonder, since she had three or four eggs in the nest.  I was trying to get a picture of them, but since the fence was taller than I was, and there was a great ditch between me and the said fence, I had to satisfy myself by standing on tip-toe, raising my arms above my head and snapping the camera blindly in the direction of the nest, hoping that I could get a decent shot.  In the end, I was pleased with the results.  In fact, I kind of like this little stay-at-home mother bird… she reminds me of someone I know! :)

Happy Mother’s Day!

This weekend is Mother’s Day—the day we are honored for the other 364 days of selfless, sacrificial service to our children.  I just want to take a moment and say how thankful I am to have the opportunity to be a mother.  it is one of the greatest joys in the world.  I have not always been the best mother I can be, but my children love me anyway!  My children show their love by giving me hugs, kisses, flowers, weeds, pictures, and rocks.  I love each of my children, and I am so thankful to be their mother!

 

I also want to thank God for my mom.  She has been such a blessing to me, a strong woman who loves the Lord, and whose greatest desire is that her children love and serve the Lord.  I couldn’t ask for a better mom.  We enjoy so many of the same things (I got her hooked on scrapbooking) and have the same weird sense of humor.  Thanks, Mom, for being there, and for loving me!  I love you!

I also know this is a hard day for some women who so desperately want to have children, but for one reason or another cannot.  My heart goes out to you, and I pray that God will give you the desires of your heart in His perfect timing.  Some of my friends have already lost their mothers, and there is a painful void in their life.  Remember your mother, reflect on the good times you had with her, and share those memories with others.  To all of you, I am wishing a very happy Mother’s Day!