Life has been running rather smoothly for our family the last few weeks, minus a few inconvenient trailer issues, and a couple cases of the sniffles. School is over for the summer, and we are enjoying our summer break. The Lord has given us some great meetings, and we are excited about what He is doing. Sometimes in the euphoria of the “good life,” we can be oblivious to what is happening in the lives of those around us.
This morning, I was reading a blog post by a dear friend of mine, and I found that she had some very unexpected, scary news. My eyes filled with tears as I read her candid thoughts as she faces this uncertainty. Her testimony is so precious. Many people are already praying for her right now, and I know that she is trusting God for grace during this time.
What is the typical response when a friend goes through a trial? We assure them that we are praying, and perhaps for a few days or weeks, we do. Notes, cards, and phone calls fly during the initial stages of whatever the trial may be, but after a while, we get on with our lives, and that person falls by the wayside. The longer the duration of the trial, the fewer people are around to offer encouragement. I do not want to be a “fair weather friend” who neglects to pray for my hurting friends when they are in the deepest part of the valley. Here are a few Biblical ways to help a friend who is going through a trial.
1. Weep with them that weep. Romans 12:15
2. Rejoice with them that do rejoice. - Romans 12:15
3. Bring them before the Lord in prayer. - Philippians 4:6; Psalm 62:8
4. Encourage them in the Lord. - Colossians 3:16
5. Remember that God’s way is perfect, even though we may not understand it. - Psalm 18:30
Sometimes, we do not know what to say to a friend who is hurting deeply. Many times we do not want to bring up an uncomfortable topic, especially if we have never experienced something similar. For example, someone long ago said to me, “I always think about Nathan on his birthday, but I don’t want to bring it up and make you sad.” My answer was, “I am already thinking about it. It helps to know that someone else remembers, too.” Sometimes the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. Be discerning, and try to do for that friend what you would want someone to do for you in the same situation. Allow them the freedom to discuss their thoughts and fears. Assure them of your prayers, and then PRAY for them. Every day. Every time the Lord brings them to mind. Let them know you are praying from time to time, and that you have not forgotten them. Knowing that others are praying is such an encouragement, and can lift the spirits like nothing else.
Oh Sarah, thank you for this post! You are so sweet. Thank you for praying and caring, you may never know how much it means to me!
ReplyDeleteAnd what you said about people forgetting after a while is so true. We've been through that several times and it was so hard. I remember when Caleb was still in the NICU and people at church would forget that I had even had him, let alone remember that he had been in the hospital for 2+ months.
Steven and I have tried really hard not to forget those who are going through long term trials because we've been there. We most definitely are not perfect in this area, but it is something we try to be conscious of.
I wrote a post a while back about "How to help someone in crisis mode" because I think so many want to help, but don't exactly know how to do it. Or they think they are helping, but go about it all wrong.
Anyways, that was a loooong comment, but I really appreciated this post. Thank you for being my friend! Love you guys!