Bitterness

It may seem strange to address this topic, but in recent years I have seen so much destruction of life and ministry due to bitterness.  I believe every person has the choice to be joyful or to be bitter, simply due to the fact that all of us have been, or will be at some future point, hurt by someone else.  Bitterness is like an infection in the body.  The wound can be superficial or devastating, but the infection can be deadly!

Once as a child, I had a small cut or bee sting on the bottom of my foot.  It was summertime, and I usually ran around barefoot, the soles of my feet like leather.  Gravel driveways didn’t even make me flinch! I came in to wash up for dinner one evening, and my mom saw a red line running up my leg, almost to the knee.  It was blood poisoning—apparently, the miniscule wound had gotten dirty and it was endangering my health.  If left for a few more hours, it could have been life-threatening!  The surprising thing to me was that I had not noticed it.  It didn’t hurt, and I felt just fine.  A quick trip to the doctor ensued, and after several days of treatment, I was back to normal.  Mom did try to encourage me to keep my shoes on for some reason. :)

Bitterness is like that blood poisoning.  It enters unnoticed through a wound and begins spreading its poison throughout the body.  Too many times, the bitter person does not even realize that they have a problem.  In fact, most of the time, the bitterness is noticed by other people first.  Sadly, when the diagnosis is made, the bitter person denies the problem, or worse, justifies the infection.  “Of course I’m bitter—don’t you know what they did to me?  I have a right to feel this way because I have been hurt!” Instead of allowing the healing balm of God’s Word, and the love and concern of fellow Christians to minister to that hurt by purging out the infection, the bitter person snaps and snarls like a wounded animal, closely guarding the festering hurt.  The ones who love that person are forced to watch helplessly as that person’s bitterness-induced choices slowly destroy them.

Bitterness always spreads.  The Bible warns of bitterness and how it can defile many.  It has never been easier to spread bitterness and discord than in today’s world of social networking.  One person spouts off about how they have been hurt, and instantly, hundreds of people take up the cause.  Most of the time, the person initiating the bitterness session doesn’t even present all the facts—just their twisted side of the story.  Implications, insinuations, misrepresentations,  and plain old lies are posted for the world to see.  People, churches, pastors, friends, and relatives are publicly maligned.  This is so far from Christian behavior!  What happened to going to the offender and seeking to restore the relationship?  What is worse, “the simple believeth every word!”  People who barely know the offended and may not even know the offender sit at their computers and phones and condemn the offender, who half the time doesn’t even know that he has offended someone!  This is rank carnality, and should never be condoned!  I don’t care if it is your life—you don’t have the right to spread your poison to others!

Another sad fact is that once a person has become bitter, they are prone to further injury by the slightest act.  Just as an infected wound causes excessive tenderness in surrounding areas, the poison spreads throughout the body, damaging other members, causing more pain.  If the infection is allowed to progress, soon it will be impossible to touch any area of the body without it hurting.  The bitter person becomes suspicious of everyone’s words, actions, and motives.  Everyone has an ulterior motive, and the concept of trust is left out of the equation.

Much is said about dealing with past hurts and learning to move on, but I believe the only way to truly move on with life after terrible hurt is to let go of the pain!  As long as you are holding on to those offences, you can never move past the hurt.  I vividly remember a time of great personal pain in my own life.  Someone very close to me was intentionally trying to destroy my life.  I did everything I could to repair the situation, but to no avail.  It was a source of great hurt and I struggled with my emotions for a long time.  However, one day, the Spirit of God so clearly spoke to my heart and said, “You can allow this to make you bitter, or you can allow this to make you better.”  It was that simple.  I saw the choice before me, and by God’s grace, I made the choice to forgive, even though that person never sought my forgiveness, denied that any wrong had been committed, and bitterly accused me of sinning against him.  The relationship was never reconciled, and though saddened by this person’s loss, I resolved to move past the hurt and allow God to reward us both according to our deeds.

For you, my hurting friend,it is time to let go of those wounds, whether petty or great, and let God heal your life.  Pour in the Word of God and allow Him to cleanse out the bitterness.  Do not let your bitterness destroy your life, or be a stumbling block to others.  The Bible states, “It is impossible but that offences will come.”  Life is not without pain.  Learn to deal with it, and allow God to give you the peace and joy that true forgiveness brings!

Disappointments

Have you ever been disappointed?  Perhaps it was by a friend, a family member, a lost opportunity, or things just not working out like you had expected.  Life is full of disappointments, both small and great, but how do you handle those let-downs? 

This week, I received a package in the mail – something I had ordered.  When I saw the box, I was at first puzzled – what was this?!  I had ordered something, but I had expected it to be a lot bigger package, since there were two items in the box.  Upon opening the package, my eyes nearly bugged out – in fact, I think they were bigger than the items I had ordered!  I had planned to give them as birthday gifts to my girls, but after seeing them, decided they would make better stocking stuffers.  I was rather disappointed.  The promised goods did not meet my expectations.  However, I figured it would be easier to just keep the gifts and learn my lesson, than to try to return them and get a refund.  At this point, I am all about what is going to be easiest for me!  :)

The reality is, we get disappointed many times.  I can think of several situations in which I am perpetually disappointed – things beyond my control.  The good news is, Jesus Christ never disappoints me.  He is always what He says He will be.  He will never let me down, or leave me in the lurch.  He always exceeds my expectations.  So when I am facing disappointment, I need to go to Him.  Reading God’s Word and praying help to alleviate the pain of human disappointments.  Does the situation change?  Not necessarily, but my perspective changes, and I know that with Christ beside me, I can survive anything that comes my way.  So, take those disappointments to God, and allow Him to carry you through the less-than-ideal situations of life.

                                                     

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